Should he try to meet her glazed gaze through the glass? The girl had no expression. That could just be the vibe here, but it was boring; he could anger her by showing his intention, then capture her emotion for his purpose.
The Pipes Man shuffled to his left, into the line of vision, kicked a leg out and rushed a snapshot before darting back to his right. No change. Nothing from this kid.
‘Go play on your phone!’ he yelled in frustration, and instantly felt like an idiot. What kind of statement is that? No-one seemed to hear, so with a sense of relief he lit a snout, hunched his shoulders and moved on.
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David Hume on Aperture Zero 02. Glazed Youth
Comment posted: 30/08/2021
With this set - imagine if the only text was, "The Pipes Man shuffled to his left, into the line of vision, kicked a leg out and rushed a snapshot before darting back to his right. No change. Nothing from this kid."
I think that's a really strong sentence. If you took the rest out and just left that, would the piece be weaker or stronger? I'd suggest stronger.
I like this; I have the feeling we'll be hearing more from the Pipes Man. Go Pipes Man.